sinandcinnamon: (hello kitty spander)
[personal profile] sinandcinnamon
Title: Falling Toward the Sky
Fandom/Pairings: Stargate: Atlantis - Lorne/Zelenka (background mentions of Sheppard/McKay, brief Zelenka/OMC)
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, some kink – BDSM, toys, voyeurism/exhibitionism
Summary: Carson is a matchmaker, Zelenka is decidedly not vanilla, and Lorne gets some good news from Earth.

Notes: Written for the slashing_lorne fic exchange. [ profile] sexycazzy wanted an established (but secret) relationship, blind dates, first time and progress of a new relationship – it was a little tricky combining those, so I hope the format (alternating between present day (Lorne POV) and past (Zelenka POV) isn't too confusing :) She also requested people's reactions to the relationship once DADT was repealed, which I managed a smidge of. Unbeta'd as I didn't finish until the eleventh hour and there was no time, so jot me a note if you notice any mistakes.

Lorne turned on the bed as his door sounded, performing the little mental flick that allowed entrance. He'd almost given up and gone to sleep; it wouldn't have been the first time that some minor disaster or crucial simulation had kept Zelenka tied up in the labs all night. He didn't like it when it happened, but he knew Radek didn't either... they'd both much rather he was tied up in private.

The door shut noiselessly, and Evan slid out of bed, his smile easy and open. Radek's eyes fluttered closed as Evan's hands moved over his shoulders, neck, and chest, a soothing caress that soon drew the scientist towards the bed. Evan splayed himself out on the sheets, getting comfortable again and wishing he could have dared a kiss. His self-imposed denial was familiar but still so very frustrating.

“Undress for me,” he murmured, focusing on that which he could have, Radek's lips tilting in pleasure as he obeyed. There was nothing so crass as a striptease, simply the slow grace of calloused fingers removing everything piece by piece and letting it fall to the floor, revealing the enticing form beneath. Radek always took his time with this, emphasizing his pleasure in fulfilling the simplest of commands. Evan used to wish it was his hands on the buttons and zippers, but not anymore. He'd come to enjoy this bit of ritual, Radek's submission sweeter than his own hands would be.

They both had a full workload waiting in the morning. As much fun as it would be to draw things out for hours, tonight wasn't the night. Evan unlocked the panel near the bed and took out a few of their most cherished and oft-used items – the leather collar that went on every time, a generous bottle of massage oil, one of the smaller toys. Radek moved onto the bed, crawling close enough that Evan could wrap the collar around him, the heat of his neck a siren call against Lorne's fingertips. Radek licked his lips, picking up the toy and the oil, his eyes meeting Evan's with undisguised anticipation.

“Tell me,” he said, the words curled around that unmistakable accent, a common plea. Evan wouldn't touch him, not in any way that could be used to condemn them, not in any way he'd have to lie about if he wanted to keep his career. The restriction chafed at both of them, but in some ways, it made this hotter. Pushing the boundaries and redefining intimacy, learning how dominance could be attained without touch, with incandescent words and filthy, incendiary scenes, voyeurism and exhibitionism coming together into something he'd never known with another partner.

“Tell me what you wish of me, please.”

And Evan did.


Radek was alone in the lab when McKay stumbled in, rubbing at his face as he made his way towards the cluster of electronics he claimed as a workstation. McKay didn't seem to notice him, and Radek observed that he looked worse than usual, even for this time of night. Radek hesitated – for all that they worked together, they were not exactly friends – but Rodney was looking at the awakened laptop screens with something like bewilderment, their watery light illuminating the misery in his blue eyes, and Radek couldn't help but be concerned.

The story poured out with very little prompting; Rodney danced clumsily around the identity of the lover who had left him, but Radek's intelligence was more than match for the mystery and it didn't take a genius to realize that no one other than Sheppard could have wreaked so much damage; Rodney simply didn't care that deeply what most people thought of him. Even with most of his attention on comforting his colleague, however, Radek couldn't help but make note of a stray comment. Never should've trusted that voodoo doctor... what does he know about relationships? That was how Radek discovered that Beckett had styled himself a discreet matchmaker for those expedition members whose sexuality did not encourage a more obvious courting of partners. He allowed himself a slow glimmer of interest, though he hid it from McKay. Radek had been lonely in Atlantis, but perhaps... perhaps he didn't have to be alone.


Lorne sat with his usual group at breakfast. Radek was halfway across the mess, slowly becoming more alert and more involved with the discussion taking place around him. They rarely ate together; there simply weren't many occasions that made it logical. Evan was tired, which meant he'd hardened himself more than usual, guarding against a careless mistake that might give them away. He always happened to sit so that he could see Radek, but he didn't let himself watch the man, no longing stares or hungry glances that lingered too long. No. In public, there was never anything that someone might see.

It meant that behind closed doors, he couldn't seem to take his eyes off Radek, devouring him with a greed he couldn't help. Evan had no idea why Radek wasn't regularly propositioned; perhaps he wasn't as loud and showy as McKay, but the man had a mind every bit as quick and precise, an intelligence that would be scary if it wasn't underscored at every turn with his dry humor. His sly playfulness was one of Evan's favorite qualities, and he cherished every time he'd seen the mischief in Radek's eyes, the wicked smiles that promised so much... and always delivered.

It was how he held on at times like this, when the space between them seemed so great. Radek's morning-rough voice was too low to hear over the murmur and clatter of the mess hall, and memories were a pale substitution. Evan forked something tasteless and unseen into his mouth, suddenly wanting nothing more than to finish and leave. What was the point, after all? For all that they were in the same room, they might as well be on opposite sides of the city. He bussed his tray and strode down the hall towards the transporter, his stomach full (though it felt like lead) and his heart empty, empty.


Unsurprisingly, Carson did not hand over a bountiful list of waiting men when Radek approached him about his matchmaking hobby. What he did do was ask Radek a great many questions, both about himself and what he was looking for in a partner, and they talked a bit about the importance of discretion given the overwhelming numbers of American military in the city. Carson took patient confidentiality very seriously, and Radek admired his careful interest and thorough questions. Nonetheless, he left with an inexplicable sense of disappointment, unsure why; he hadn't even realized he'd had expectations.

A few weeks later, he was called to the infirmary for a flu shot. Carson made vague noises about needing to get more serum and left the room, leaving Radek mildly amused as he met the eyes of the other patient in the room. The man's surreptitious once-over cemented his suspicion that this was a blind date more than a matter of health, though no doubt there'd still be a shot when Carson returned.

“Matthew,” the man introduced himself. He was handsome enough when he smiled, and Radek recognized him from Food Services although they'd never really spoken. “Matthew Bennington.”

“Radek Zelenka.” Matthew's hand was large, warm and a little rough against his own, and Radek returned the smile as anticipation tingled through him, enjoying the clear interest in those brown eyes and thinking of the possibilities.


It was a busy morning, the monthly databurst from Earth bequeathing a massive chunk of electronic paperwork that all had to be skimmed and sorted, a task that might as well be Lorne's for as often as Sheppard 'delegated' the work to him. Evan didn't mind; it was mindless but calming, and after the emotional tumult of the morning, it was just what he needed to restore his equilibrium.

He'd just about regained his balance when it was knocked out from under him. DADT. The letters jumped out at him, stirring up the familiar storm, but mixed with shock and a kind of breathless hope. It had been repealed. Evan stared at the screen, afraid to blink lest it prove to be an illusion. Yes, there'd been rumors, a hum of suggestion that the outdated and discriminatory policy's days were numbered... but he hadn't let himself believe it. So much of politics was all talk, with very little actual change.

Lorne took a deep breath, blinking burning eyes and finding the words unchanged. He was surprised that his hands weren't shaking as he scrolled through the entirety of the document. He rose from his chair, then turned back, forwarding a copy to key people – Radek, of course, Sheppard, Beckett - with a note to review it immediately.

Then Lorne left the office and headed towards the lab, his steps ringing through the corridors as he ran.


Radek's relationship with Bennington had been good for a few months; they had little in common, but they had enjoyed each other's company, and Matthew's eager enthusiasm in the bedroom was intoxicating after having been alone for so long. At least at first.

They'd dissolved as easily as they'd come together. Regular sex and a slow buildup of trust, learning each other... it was inevitable that Radek would begin to hunger for more, to ache for the release of tensions that he knew the right kind of partner could bring. It turned out that Matthew wasn't that kind of partner; Radek's suggestions made him uncomfortable, awkward, and when he reluctantly offered to try in spite of his clear disinterest, it was easy to let him off the hook. They stayed together a little longer, but they were both clearly looking for something else, and it was a relief when they agreed to go their separate ways.


His heart was pounding when he reached the lab. Radek was looking at his screen, his expression making it clear exactly what he was looking at. Evan could feel the smile splitting his face and didn't even bother trying to hide it. Scientists all around the room were turning to look at him, but for once – for once, it didn't matter who was watching. The realization of it shuddered through him again even as Radek finally looked up, his beautiful light eyes full of comprehension.

“You saw,” Evan said, his voice sounding hoarse and faraway. He took a stuttering step towards Radek, and then another. Radek's mouth opened to answer, but the first word never had a chance – Evan was pulling him into his embrace, claiming the kiss he'd been aching to take for months.


Walking towards the infirmary, Radek's thoughts were filled with possibilities. Ostensibly, he was headed there to donate blood... but the odd request and something in Carson's voice made him suspect that this was another blind date. The doctor had blushed a bit when Radek explained why he and Matthew had parted ways. Heat had suffused his own fair skin, but Radek knew he needed to be honest if he was to find what he wanted, and the words flowed easily even in the foreign tongue – domination, control, sensory play, bondage, spanking... a litany of kinks ranging from those he really needed to ones that were merely acceptable.

And now... now there was a man waiting for him, someone who could take him out of his head and ground him in intense physicality, who wouldn't give him Matthew's appalled startlement when Radek wanted to be tied down, when he wanted sex laced with pain and submission. Radek's feet were light as he entered the room.

He froze in place immediately. Evan Lorne, beautiful and charming, was seated on a cot nodding to whatever Carson was saying. Radek's heart fell. This couldn't possibly be what he'd thought. Even if the Major was inclined towards men, he was far out of Radek's league. He had misunderstood; apparently the infirmary genuinely was in need of A negative blood. He perched on the other cot, waiting for Carson to finish with Major Lorne.

Dr. Beckett seemed strangely bouyant while he took Radek's blood, before affixing a gauze pad and bandaid that matched Lorne's. “I thank you for coming down, lads,” he said, tidying away the supplies. “I'm sure you'll have plenty to chat about while you're recovering. There's some juice and cookies and such over there – make sure you have a snack.” He leveled a mild glare at both of them. “I'll not have you passing out because you forgot to mind your blood sugar.”

He whisked out of the room, leaving them in privacy... and confusion on Radek's part. He darted a glance at the handsome soldier and found him pouring the juice into a pair of plastic cups. He offered one to Radek with a grin, and their fingers brushed as he reached to take it. Lorne didn't release it until Radek shyly met his eyes, his smile widening as Radek couldn't help but return it.

“Dr. Zelenka,” he acknowledged.

“Radek, please,” the scientist replied, hoping he wasn't misreading the look in those darkening blue eyes.

“Radek, then.” Lorne sounded both pleased and predatory, and the combination quickened Radek's pulse. No, he wasn't misreading this. There could be no confusion in the way Lorne was circling him, looking him over in obvious appraisal, approving and intense. “Dr. Beckett mentioned... you're looking for something a little different.”

Radek nodded at the promise in that voice, accepting the cookie Evan handed him.

“Let's talk about what I can give you – and what I can't,” Evan said, the sentence laden with equal measures of temptation and warning. Radek looked up at him through his lashes, watching those sensual lips shape the words, and thought that there was very little Evan could demand of him that he wouldn't be willing to give.


“I want,” Evan managed between between kisses, oblivious to the stares of the other scientists.

“Yes,” Radek answered immediately, emphatically. Evan forced himself to release him, and Radek quickly began typing, halting simulations and locking his workstation. Lorne looked around, amused at how quickly everyone's eyes dropped, though the low rumble of speculation never completely quieted. Dr. McKay was watching him, his mouth open as if his voice had been torn from him mid-rant... which was entirely likely, come to think of it. Evan just gave him a cocky, unashamed grin. “You should check your email,” he suggested, and then Radek was tugging him out of the lab, bright-eyed and eager and so, so clearly aroused, and Lorne stopped thinking about anything but the man in front of him and getting back to his quarters as quickly as possible.


It had been a week since they'd spoken in the infirmary. A week of imagining what would happen tonight, analyzing Evan's strange boundaries and deciding he could work within them. Radek consulted the handheld scanner and found the hall empty before making his way to Evan's door.

Once he was inside and greetings had been exchanged, Radek was unsure of how to proceed. He looked around Lorne's quarters but found his gaze continually drawn back to the man himself, who proved far more intriguing than the décor. Evan was watching him, an amused half-smile on his lips, and Radek finally gave up on his half-hearted perusal. Uncertain, he eventually knelt, lowering his eyes and hoping it was the right thing to do.

It must have been, or perhaps it didn't matter. Evan walked closer to him, his fingertips reaching out to glide over Radek's hair, and he sighed: pleasure at the touch, relief that they'd begun.

“You need someone to dominate you,” Evan said. A week ago, it had been a question. This time, Evan's words were a promise and a secret, Radek's submission revealed as if called into being by the silken voice. His hair was tucked behind his ear, that elegant hand moving over the sensitive skin there and moving to cup his neck. Radek's breath came faster, and he licked his lips as that steady pressure grounded him, his intellect falling into a safe, familiar headspace.

“Stand up,” Evan instructed. “Take your clothes off. I want to see you.”

The risk of it whispered around Radek even as he obeyed. He didn't know Evan, not really. The major was still dressed, casual and comfortable civilian clothes that suited him well. Radek disrobed, the task as much about trust as it was about sex, the hint of danger doing nothing to discourage his erection. They'd spoken of voyeurism and exhibitionism, Radek unsure whether he'd respond to it, having no previous experiences by which to measure. Now, naked before that warm gaze, he felt helpless, vulnerable... and it aroused him as surely as shackles would have. There was something about losing control that freed him, that always had. The last vestiges of nervousness faded away, leaving only anticipation and the desire to discover and please.

Evan took his time looking him over, drinking him in like a man dying of thirst, and Radek thrilled at that. He still had trouble understanding why Evan would be attracted to him – he was nothing special, not the way Lorne was – but it was clear that he was, and that was enough for Radek.

“I didn't have time to get anything better,” Evan said, picking up what looked to be a plain black shoelace. He placed it under Radek's chin, tilting his head up until their gazes met. “Will you wear it while you're mine?”

“Ano, yes,” he granted, and the rough ribbon was wound around his neck, tied at the base of his throat, a claim and a collar.

Evan wet his lips. His first two fingers tucked themselves into the lace and tugged Radek gently up to his feet. Radek found himself guided to the bed, laid down on his belly beside a gleaming paddle that had almost certainly been a hairbrush at one point. Evan crouched down beside the bed, bringing their faces level as he picked it up.

A gentle touch moved his glasses and radio to safety, and Radek closed his eyes as the world blurred, Evan breathing dirty promises over his ear until everything else disappeared.


The route to his quarters seemed to take far longer than it should, and it was all Evan could do to keep himself from finding a handy supply closet instead. He'd convinced himself that this could never be, held himself back for so long... a few more minutes shouldn't make much difference, but somehow waiting had become intolerable. Evan knew that it had only been his own choices that had restricted him, but now that he had the freedom to claim Radek, to take him as his own and not have to worry about hiding, about secrecy... it was like a drug, and all his years of careful control were crumbling like sugar soaked in absinthe.

Sheppard was coming down the hall in the opposite direction, looking intent and determined. He caught sight of them, surprise turning to understanding in an instant as he took in their kiss-stung lips, the cuff of Evan's fingers around Radek's wrist. A stunningly open grin lit his face as he nodded at them. “Good work, Lorne,” he said without slowing, and Evan suspected the lab would soon be short another scientist. The affirmation could have meant anything – Evan liked to think that it was as much approval of his relationship as it was thanks for calling the repeal to Sheppard's attention.

“Thanks sir,” he replied as they passed him, giddy and bouyant himself. It was as if he'd been carrying a huge weight without realizing it, and now that it was gone it seemed as if he might rise up with Radek, spinning into the sky on wings spun from the release of that burden.

The pause in motion as they entered the transporter was too much. Without the distraction of walking through Atlantis, he found Radek in his arms, those expressive lips parted under his own in the few moments of stillness after keying in their destination. And once he'd begun, Evan found himself unable to stop kissing Radek, learning his mouth in ways he'd barely let himself imagine. Radek's fine, honey-colored hair was threaded through his hands, tilting and holding him exactly where he wanted.

Evan swallowed back a moan at the feel of Radek against him, their bodies pressed close in the tiny chamber, clothing muffling but unable to hide their mounting arousal. Radek whimpered and thrust minutely against him, and Evan finally tore free before they succumbed completely, intensely aware that they were in a very public location, one they could not count on to stay empty for long. While his heart rejoiced at the ability to shout his love from the mountaintops, this - Radek, beautiful and unravelled, eyes glazed with passion and pleasure – this was his and his alone. He'd taken these moments as the gifts they were, tucking each one away in his memories like precious treasure, all the more cherished for how little he allowed himself. The thought of someone turning the corner and seeing them, of glimpsing Radek's uninhibited surrender... it called up a fierce possessiveness within him, and was enough to restore a small measure of control.

“My room,” he murmured as he withdrew, apologizing with a soft nip to Radek's lower lip. Radek made a soft sound of distress, closing his eyes. He took a deep, shaking breath and then opened them, looking up at Evan and nodding, obedience all the sweeter for how clearly he had to struggle for it. Evan followed him to the door, locking it securely behind them, something inside him darkly satisfied at having Radek captured here in his space. He leaned back against the door as Radek turned around, his face questioning.

“I want you naked,” Evan told him, the strength of the desire evident in his low voice. “Naked and on your knees for me.” He waited until the clothes began to fall before finally moving away from the exit, opening the compartment by the bed. His eyes were torn between the cache of toys – suddenly rife with more possibilities than ever before – and the erotic tableau that never failed to command his attention. Blindly searching fingers sought and found the collar as he watched Radek, nude and perfect, sink down onto his knees.

“Tell me you want this,” Evan said, rare uncertainty in the plea. This wasn't what he and Radek had begun, and as much as he wanted, as amazing as he knew it would be, he had to be sure that Radek wanted it just as much. This was momentous; this would change everything. Awe and lust and even a little fear poured through his veins as it hit him again. He needed the words, needed that exotically inflected voice to reassure him that he was not alone in this, that Radek was filled with the same doubts and desires and brave determination.

“Evan, yes,” Radek answered without hesitation, as sure as Evan had ever seen him. His mouth parted over quickened breath as Evan fastened the collar into place, a quick flash of pink darting out to wet that bottom lip as he trembled for just a moment, the tiny buckle settling easily into place.

With one last caress to the leather, Evan let it go to unfasten his pants. The moment pooled thick and slow around him, almost surreal. Evan felt his heart echoing in his chest, absurdly loud in the quiet room. It had been years since he'd dared to do this, so long ago that it seemed another lifetime. Radek swayed toward him as he pulled his cock free and guided it to those waiting lips.

“Suck me.” The command was unneccessary, that gorgeous mouth already taking him in, but the words were a thrill of their own, and Evan didn't even try to stop them. “Yeah, Radek, yeah, just like that.” The lips he'd been kissing were stretching prettily, forced open around his thick cock. He cupped Radek's head, pulling him slowly but inexorably forward until the adorable point of that nose was nuzzling into dark curls, Radek's lashes closed and quivering, his face beatific and serene.

Evan could drown happily in the blissful rightness of the moment if his long-denied dick hadn't demanded that he move. He withdrew with a sigh, his gradually appearing length wet and shining, slicking Radek's lips as he pushed back in. His lover just took it, moaning hungrily around it as Evan fucked his mouth, tongue lashing hot and sloppy against the slit at the end of every stroke. His hands were resting on Evan's thighs just above the hobble of his pants, and his nails curled in as he began making more desperate noises, ones that Evan was long familiar with.

Reluctantly, he stilled Radek and pulled free from the hot mouth that clearly didn't want to release him. “On the bed,” he insisted, picking up the leather cuffs that looked so good on Radek. Evan spent a few minutes just stroking him first, letting his hands roam over skin that his eyes had memorized but that his touch had never known. He cuffed Radek so his arms were stretched overhead, the chain between the cuffs gleaming. He didn't miss the flash of disappointment when he chose the cock ring – Radek always struggled with this specific form of control. Evan loved to watch him come, those talented hands moving so knowingly on his own body, and rarely asked him to hold back.

This time, though.... this time, it would be Evan's hand, Evan's cock. Radek had been close just from sucking him, and Evan wasn't about to let him come this early on. “You can wait for me,” he reassured him as he fitted the device around Radek's erection, curved hard against his belly. “I know what you need, and I know you can be good for me. Turn over, now, let me give you what you're wanting.”

The paddle, first, because Radek loved it and Evan loved what it did to him. The tender skin there was red by the time he finished, fairly glowing with heat, and Radek's voice was hoarse between bitten lips, his cheeks wet with tears that he'd thank Evan for when they were done. He set the paddle aside and used his hand then, broad smacks that were more intimate, Radek's ass scalding the palms of his hands even as the man pushed up into the spanking, begging for more.

The wet pour of lube felt incredibly cool against that heat, and Evan spilled it over him liberally, coating the part of his ass until everything was slippery, running his fingers up and down. He rubbed slick, firm circles against his perineum, flickered teasingly over his entrance, let his fingernails graze the dimple below Radek's tailbone. Radek was unable to keep still, writhing and arching, pleading with words in both languages and some that weren't words at all.

Pushing his fingers inside, one by one, Evan kept up a constant stream of praise and adulation, amazed all over again that this incredible man would give himself over so completely, as if Evan were somehow worthy of such complete trust and devotion. He promised himself for the thousandth time that he would be, that he would never allow that trust to be unfounded. He entered Radek slowly, ignoring his impatient demands, knowing that they would never have another first time and wanting to remember every detail, every slow, sex-soaked second of it.

Fully inside, draped over Radek's back, one hand on the wing of his hipbone and one stretched up, tracing the edge of the leather cuffs, Evan held himself still, unwilling to move and risk shattering the closest thing to perfection he'd ever found. Radek breathed his name, over and again, imbuing it with
something beyond knowing. It rose up within him, soft and sacred, heartbreakingly joyous, and his thighs flexed.

Their bodies caught a rhythm beyond deliberation, feral and perfectly matched, months of need catching up with them both and making the idea of control a laughable mirage, a hypothetical concept that had no reality in the place they came together. Evan was vicious in the ways he'd learned that Radek loved, sharp cracks of his palm on that gorgeous, still-stinging ass, elegant trails of light but unceasing series of bites, the blunt cut of his nails in hidden places, and always, always hard, deep thrusts of his cock, driving into Radek with a ruthlessness that spoke of their need to claim and be claimed. He cupped Radek's bound cock, letting it slick down the hollow of his hand with desperate thrusts, and poured dirty, dirty words into his ear. Evan snapped the ring open with clumsy fingers, his orgasm overtaking him in shuddering, devastating pulses, feeling Radek coming with him as soon as the restraint fell free.

Settling heavily on the body beneath him, Evan breathed out something bordering on sobs, the intensity leaving him shaken and exposed. He'd never had a first time like that; had never had anything like that, if he were honest. He hadn't been with that many men, but there had been some... none that he'd known so well as Radek, though, none that had given themselves over so unrestrainedly, and perhaps that made all the difference. He shifted to take some of his weight off of Radek while still covering him and unhooked the chain so that his arms were free. He pulled him close, curling around him and feeling like he might never let go, breathing in the scent of him until the tightness in his throat eased and the boneless pleasure spread warmly through his entire body. Radek was pressing into the embrace just as much, the occasional shiver of aftershock jolting him and telling Evan that he hadn't been alone in how he'd felt.

He knew they'd have to get up in a little while. Both of their bosses would smirkingly understand why they'd dropped everything and run off in the middle of the workday, but there was still work to be done. In a city like Atlantis, there was no playing hooky, and he knew neither of their consciences would let them consider it. For now, though, they had a little time. Time to snuggle close, to speak of their feelings in a way that words could never capture. And later... they could sit, side by side in the mess, talking about their days and joking about the never boring things the cooks tried to pass off as food. They could spend their evenings together, hang out on the balconies and watching the lights of the city and the pinpricks of stars, read together silently in his room or Radek's, feet nudging companionably, lean into each other while watching whatever movie was playing in the room used for recreation.

Yeah, Evan thought as Radek turned in his arms, feeling a press of lips that was a little too sleepy to be a kiss. They had time.



April 2017

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