And Hijinks Ensued, Ch 1: Torture
Oct. 28th, 2006 10:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sinandcinnamonTitle: And Hijinks Ensued (or, How Spike Lost His Mind, and Most of His Hair)
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sinandcinnamon and xanfan27
Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Harry Potter
Pairing: Xander/Fred/George, with possible subpairings
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 eventually
Words: ~1300
Spike eyed the man sitting next to him in the too close confines of the airplane and wondered if he would pass out from the pain his chip would inflict before or after
he strangled the annoying git.
“Spike, I’m bored,” said the man sitting next to him.
“Yeah, Spike, we’re bored,” whined the girl sitting on Spike’s other side.
Spike stifled a growl of frustration and shifted in his seat, silently cursing the Watcher for not ponying up the dosh for First Class seats.
Spike looked as his watch to see how much longer he would be forced to endure this torture and barely held back a gasp of horror to see they were only fifteen minutes into their flight. Fifteen minutes into their nine hour flight to England. Maybe the passing out from chip inflicted pain wouldn’t be so bad. And really, he was a vampire, so what were the chances that the brain damage would be permanent?
“Spike, the movie doesn’t start for another hour, and I’m bored,” Dawn whined from her window seat.
Spike turned to the man sitting in the aisle seat next to him to ask for assistance in entertaining the girl and was confused to see Xander leaning out into the aisle to look at something. His confusion was not abated when he saw the object of the young carpenter’s gaze was the arse of the bent over flight attendant who was talking to someone several aisles ahead of them. The male flight attendant.
Spike was about to comment when he registered the drink cart the flight attendant was now towing towards them. His attention was instantly diverted; if anything could dull the pain of listening to his companions, it was alcohol. He didn't really care what kind at this point, as long as it was something with a high proof. He reached in his pocket for the traveling money Rupes had handed him before they left and snickered; really, the man should have known better than to give HIM the money. If Spike couldn’t sit in First Class, he would at least be getting snockered on the Watcher’s dime.
Xander elbowed Spike when the anxious fidgeting became too much.
"What was that for?” Spike said with his own whine.
Xander raised an eyebrow. “You’re moving around too much. What is your problem? It’s not like you have to go to the bathroom or anything, so what's with the Mr. Wiggles routine?”
The bleached vampire raised one hand and pointed expectantly at the drink cart. “Booze.”
Xander flicked a glance towards Dawn, reminding Spike of why they were here. “Yeah, okay, just don't get too drunk. And pace yourself, it’s a long flight.”
Spike’s answer was preempted by ‘Kendal with one L’ and his drink cart. Spike didn’t even snarl at the tall, red-headed flight attendant’s enthusiastic smile. He was too busy leering at the little bottles of alcohol that peeked enticingly at him from the cart.
“He’ll have a couple of bottles of Jack, she’ll have a Coke and I’ll have Sprite,” Xander said with a beaming smile in response to Kendal’s drink query, answering quickly to prevent Spike from offering all their cash for all the booze on the plane. Which Spike hadn’t really been contemplating, really he hadn’t. Mostly.
Kendal handed them their drinks after getting exact change from Spike, who was so focused on the promise of JD that he didn’t even complain about flight attendants
never carrying money to make change with.
Spike took a sip of his long awaited beverage and sighed at the fiery burn. Okay, so he’d only had to wait a few minutes, but it had felt like an eternity. He settled back to enjoy his nectar of the gods.
His peace lasted all of five minutes before Xander leaned over him and tugged on Dawn’s braid to get her attention because she was wearing headphones while reading a magazine.
“Ow!”
Dawn leaned across Spike and smacked Xander’s arm… hard.
Spike would have smiled in pride and mocked Xander's echoing 'Ow!', but she smacked him hard on the arm, too.
“Oi, what was that for?” Spike asked, giving her a wounded look.
“For letting him pull my hair,” Dawn answered with teenage-girl-logic.
Spike just rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drink.
Xander laughed and asked Dawn for one of her magazines, to which she snorted in response.
“Spike, she won’t let me read one of her magazines,” Xander whined.
“Why would you want to read one my girly magazines anyway?” Dawn asked.
“Girly magazines?” Spike and Xander asked at the same time, both voices carrying tones of combined shock and interest.
Dawn looked at them in confusion and then wrinkled her nose. "Eww, you pervs.”
She raised the cover of her magazine to show them the ‘COSMO Girl’ title.
“Magazines for GIRLS,” Dawn said in disgust.
Xander and Spike both looked sheepish and slightly disappointed.
As Xander and Dawn continued to bicker back and forth, Spike finished off his first little bottle and opened up the second one, contemplating exactly what he had done to deserve the torture of baby-sitting these two. Besides the hundred and twenty years of murder and mayhem; surely that wasn’t evil enough to deserve this?
When Rupert had brought up the idea of sending Dawn away with Xander to get her away from Glory, Spike had been all for that plan. He hadn’t counted on Buffy volunteering him to accompany them for protection.
He admitted he was rather fond of his Little Bit, and the boy hadn’t been too annoying of late, but still, he would rather be back in Sunny-hell kicking Prada-clad Hellgod ass than be stuck on a plane with Xander and Dawn, the poster-children for ADHD.
Figuring out where they should go that Glory couldn't find them had been a lot easier than he'd expected. While the Slayer and the Watcher had taken control of the discussion, Xander had hesitantly and quietly asked Willow if her location spells on Oz were still failing. When she'd confirmed they were, he'd suggested joining the young werewolf wherever he was at as an ideal place to escape since he couldn't be found magically. Apparently the failed locater spells weren't an issue since Xander talked to him on a regular basis.
Spike nearly giggled at the memory of the verbal lashing the brunet had received from the Red Witch over not telling her he was in contact with her ex. Spike kinda felt bad for Glinda the Good Witch, but not enough to stop enjoying the tirade.
Buffy had expressed some concern about her sister being around Oz after his last visit to Sunnydale, when he'd attacked Tara. Xander’s response of, “He can control the werewolf now and use it to protect Dawn if he has too,” had been enough to brook any further argument.
Now, why the hell Oz was currently in a boarding school in Scotland and thought it would be a good place to stay for their protection was a question that had never fully been answered to Spike’s satisfaction. He supposed it didn't matter. Xander's message explaining the situation had resulted in a call back from Oz, who had invited them to join him and assured them it was probably the safest place they could go.
He looked at his watch and wished he hadn't. They still had eight more hours left of their flight, and the drink trolley wasn't likely to make another trip around for at least three.
Authors:
sinandcinnamon and xanfan27Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Harry Potter
Pairing: Xander/Fred/George, with possible subpairings
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 eventually
Words: ~1300
Spike eyed the man sitting next to him in the too close confines of the airplane and wondered if he would pass out from the pain his chip would inflict before or after
he strangled the annoying git.
“Spike, I’m bored,” said the man sitting next to him.
“Yeah, Spike, we’re bored,” whined the girl sitting on Spike’s other side.
Spike stifled a growl of frustration and shifted in his seat, silently cursing the Watcher for not ponying up the dosh for First Class seats.
Spike looked as his watch to see how much longer he would be forced to endure this torture and barely held back a gasp of horror to see they were only fifteen minutes into their flight. Fifteen minutes into their nine hour flight to England. Maybe the passing out from chip inflicted pain wouldn’t be so bad. And really, he was a vampire, so what were the chances that the brain damage would be permanent?
“Spike, the movie doesn’t start for another hour, and I’m bored,” Dawn whined from her window seat.
Spike turned to the man sitting in the aisle seat next to him to ask for assistance in entertaining the girl and was confused to see Xander leaning out into the aisle to look at something. His confusion was not abated when he saw the object of the young carpenter’s gaze was the arse of the bent over flight attendant who was talking to someone several aisles ahead of them. The male flight attendant.
Spike was about to comment when he registered the drink cart the flight attendant was now towing towards them. His attention was instantly diverted; if anything could dull the pain of listening to his companions, it was alcohol. He didn't really care what kind at this point, as long as it was something with a high proof. He reached in his pocket for the traveling money Rupes had handed him before they left and snickered; really, the man should have known better than to give HIM the money. If Spike couldn’t sit in First Class, he would at least be getting snockered on the Watcher’s dime.
Xander elbowed Spike when the anxious fidgeting became too much.
"What was that for?” Spike said with his own whine.
Xander raised an eyebrow. “You’re moving around too much. What is your problem? It’s not like you have to go to the bathroom or anything, so what's with the Mr. Wiggles routine?”
The bleached vampire raised one hand and pointed expectantly at the drink cart. “Booze.”
Xander flicked a glance towards Dawn, reminding Spike of why they were here. “Yeah, okay, just don't get too drunk. And pace yourself, it’s a long flight.”
Spike’s answer was preempted by ‘Kendal with one L’ and his drink cart. Spike didn’t even snarl at the tall, red-headed flight attendant’s enthusiastic smile. He was too busy leering at the little bottles of alcohol that peeked enticingly at him from the cart.
“He’ll have a couple of bottles of Jack, she’ll have a Coke and I’ll have Sprite,” Xander said with a beaming smile in response to Kendal’s drink query, answering quickly to prevent Spike from offering all their cash for all the booze on the plane. Which Spike hadn’t really been contemplating, really he hadn’t. Mostly.
Kendal handed them their drinks after getting exact change from Spike, who was so focused on the promise of JD that he didn’t even complain about flight attendants
never carrying money to make change with.
Spike took a sip of his long awaited beverage and sighed at the fiery burn. Okay, so he’d only had to wait a few minutes, but it had felt like an eternity. He settled back to enjoy his nectar of the gods.
His peace lasted all of five minutes before Xander leaned over him and tugged on Dawn’s braid to get her attention because she was wearing headphones while reading a magazine.
“Ow!”
Dawn leaned across Spike and smacked Xander’s arm… hard.
Spike would have smiled in pride and mocked Xander's echoing 'Ow!', but she smacked him hard on the arm, too.
“Oi, what was that for?” Spike asked, giving her a wounded look.
“For letting him pull my hair,” Dawn answered with teenage-girl-logic.
Spike just rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drink.
Xander laughed and asked Dawn for one of her magazines, to which she snorted in response.
“Spike, she won’t let me read one of her magazines,” Xander whined.
“Why would you want to read one my girly magazines anyway?” Dawn asked.
“Girly magazines?” Spike and Xander asked at the same time, both voices carrying tones of combined shock and interest.
Dawn looked at them in confusion and then wrinkled her nose. "Eww, you pervs.”
She raised the cover of her magazine to show them the ‘COSMO Girl’ title.
“Magazines for GIRLS,” Dawn said in disgust.
Xander and Spike both looked sheepish and slightly disappointed.
As Xander and Dawn continued to bicker back and forth, Spike finished off his first little bottle and opened up the second one, contemplating exactly what he had done to deserve the torture of baby-sitting these two. Besides the hundred and twenty years of murder and mayhem; surely that wasn’t evil enough to deserve this?
When Rupert had brought up the idea of sending Dawn away with Xander to get her away from Glory, Spike had been all for that plan. He hadn’t counted on Buffy volunteering him to accompany them for protection.
He admitted he was rather fond of his Little Bit, and the boy hadn’t been too annoying of late, but still, he would rather be back in Sunny-hell kicking Prada-clad Hellgod ass than be stuck on a plane with Xander and Dawn, the poster-children for ADHD.
Figuring out where they should go that Glory couldn't find them had been a lot easier than he'd expected. While the Slayer and the Watcher had taken control of the discussion, Xander had hesitantly and quietly asked Willow if her location spells on Oz were still failing. When she'd confirmed they were, he'd suggested joining the young werewolf wherever he was at as an ideal place to escape since he couldn't be found magically. Apparently the failed locater spells weren't an issue since Xander talked to him on a regular basis.
Spike nearly giggled at the memory of the verbal lashing the brunet had received from the Red Witch over not telling her he was in contact with her ex. Spike kinda felt bad for Glinda the Good Witch, but not enough to stop enjoying the tirade.
Buffy had expressed some concern about her sister being around Oz after his last visit to Sunnydale, when he'd attacked Tara. Xander’s response of, “He can control the werewolf now and use it to protect Dawn if he has too,” had been enough to brook any further argument.
Now, why the hell Oz was currently in a boarding school in Scotland and thought it would be a good place to stay for their protection was a question that had never fully been answered to Spike’s satisfaction. He supposed it didn't matter. Xander's message explaining the situation had resulted in a call back from Oz, who had invited them to join him and assured them it was probably the safest place they could go.
He looked at his watch and wished he hadn't. They still had eight more hours left of their flight, and the drink trolley wasn't likely to make another trip around for at least three.
