What an amazingly dark view of John here. The situation is impossible for him, Sam turning Dean and them running off together is not something John would approve of, and what else, really can he do?

The desperation and hopelessness of the phone calls, the justifications and the bullets and the drugs and his plans for Dean afterward. Chilling.

I've read varkelton and rivestra's stories in this 'verse and yours is an awesome addition.